My Thoughts On Collaring

In my personal life I have played with many submissives and have had a few serve me but I had never collared anyone until this year. I have been playing with my slave Porky for over a year now and when our “Domsubversary” (a term he coined) came around I began to reflect on the time he and I had spent that year.

Collaring a slave can mean a number of different things depending on the Dominant. Some Dominants offer protective collars. This can mean that although a person wears their collar they are not necessarily their slave, they are more of a mentor for that person while they are exploring the scene. Other Dominants offer training collars. This symbolizes that the sub is being trained by them and working towards becoming their slave.

I happen to take a very particular approach when considering collaring a slave. It can actually be a very long process. Whether the sub happens to be a client or someone I have met elsewhere our first interactions are always very “play” oriented. It is important to me that we have chemistry together, that they respond to me well, that we share similar interests, and they are able to follow the rules I set for them while playing. I use every opportunity I can during this period to get a good read on them as an individual. You can learn a lot about a person from simply how they act before, during, and after a scene. If all goes well during this stage then I will move them onto the next step, which is “out of the dungeon” so to speak. Here the submissive will learn how to serve me in my personal life, my likes, my dislikes, how to communicate with me, and further public protocol. A huge amount of communication on both parties is key here. Just as much as they are getting to learn about me I need to learn about them. For example: how they view themselves as a submissive, what do they enjoy about serving, if they have served before and what those experiences have been like and so on. This is the point in which I decide what type of role in my life will suit them best and it is important to take into consideration their strengths and their weaknesses. Just because a person likes serving doesn’t mean they will be the best person to clean my house especially if they are not as detail oriented and OCD like I am so I don’t want to give them task in which that they will never be able to meet my standards no matter how genuinely hard they try. Once I feel that the submissive and I have reached at place where most of the aforementioned “work” has been done and our relationship has a good flow then I would be open to offering them a collar as their reward for their devotion.

When I think back on my and Porky’s relationship it’s actually funny to me because even though this process was happening it wasn’t actually something that I was consciously doing or working towards. Part of the reason he and I work so well together is that he is so extremely laid back and not needy at all which for me is something that does not suite my life in any manner. My role as his Mistress and he as my sub was one of the most organic experiences I’ve ever had. As much as he is honored to be for me to be his Mistress I feel the same honor in having him as my slave.

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Q: You tweeted that You tried out a bunch of new implements on porkinator looking for feedback. That must have been a lot of fun for you. Was it? Do you do that kind of thing often?

A: I love to try out new toys! Sometimes I have as much fun with just testing equipment as I do in having an actual scene.  I think it is really important to know all the capabilities of any toys that one plays with.  Part of it is about safety,  I obviously want to be sure if it is something I haven’t played with before that I know how to use it properly to avoid and risk or injury to my bottom. Then the other part of it is that I want to be able to optimize the use of the toy.

Take impact implements for example, which is what I tested out on porky.  They can have incredible range and I like to see how the bottom reacts to them being used light to medium then to heavy.  Certain implements can also be “thrown” different ways and that can effect the sensation that the bottom feels also.

While testing toys I like to choose a bottom who I have played with often so I am already familiar with their responses.  I also prefer that the bottom is really into the type of play that the toys involves because I like to get honest feedback from them.   It helps me connect better with the implement when my bottom is able to communicate what the varying degrees feel like since I do see using toys as a direct extension of my physical self.  The final test I look to see and especially with impact implements is if they leave marks or at what intensity will they mark.  Now understandably everyone’s skin will respond different so I can only make a generalization when it comes time to use them on other individuals but it’s good to be aware of. Also being that everyone plays on different levels I don’t necessarily want to exclude the use of certain toys that maybe considered heavy if someone is on the lighter side,  I would rather see if there is a way that I can utilize it that works  in favor with the bottoms tolerance.

Unfortunately no I do not get to have this experience as often as I would like. I usually don’t get new toys very often.  I actually happen to spend long periods of time exploring the ones I do have and more often than not it is during this time that I discover multiple uses for them.  That excites me because I like to challenge myself and my creativity.  I also really like getting to try out toys that may be new to me when a bottom brings something from their own collection for us to play with.  This is also not just a pleasant surprise but I also tend to learn a great deal from them which is always an added bonus.

I also think that from a bottoms or submissive perspective that it can be a great honor for their top or Dominant to get to break in a new toy on them.  Usually when I receive new toys as a gift I make sure that whoever gifted them to me gets to have them used on them first.  Unfortunately the toys that I tested on porky were given to me by someone else who I had not had the opportunity to use on them yet but I know when I do get to see them that my knowledge of the toys and how they will be used to stimulate them will also be a great reward!

These are the toys I tested on porky.

If you would like to gift me some new toys that I can use on you please visit my wish list.

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Musings from Miami

I had an amazing and much needed trip to Miami last week.  The weather was beautiful, the sessions were so much fun, and I got a chance to catch up on some much needed relaxation.

Overall it was an amazing time but there was one slight drawback.

I was invited on this trip to accompany one of my colleagues who’s client had arranged the trip for her.  She had informed me of their arrangement and it was a crystal clear agreement that what he wanted was to spend time with her and wait on her hand and foot. He wanted to get a taste of what it was like to be her slave for a more extended period of time.

He picked us up from the airport and got us settled into our hotel and took us for dinner. They played a little bit then we all spent the evening chatting and getting to know one another better.  The following day we had some sessions booked so we were pretty busy in the afternoon but when we finished up we then enjoyed another evening of dinner and play. The next morning we decided to hit the beach and invited him along but he declined stating that he had slept horribly the night before (guess he wasn’t used to his chastity device yet) and he would call us later.  Upon retuning from a relaxing afternoon of fun in the sun we were informed again by him that he had some things to take care of later on and that he would call us in the morning.  He seemed a bit down and we asked if everything was ok and he just shrugged the question off again saying that he would just contact us in the morning.

The following morning we were awoken by him informing us that he would be checking us out of our suite a day early because he changed his mind and was unhappy with the situation and realized he was not a “slave” after all.  Not only was this very sudden and unexpected but he has also left us very little time to get ourselves together. He reluctantly offered to take us to another hotel but we declined as we thought it would be better to part ways as soon as possible and made our own accommodations.

While we were packing we began to discuss the situation.  We were blown away by his rude behavior and his unwillingness to sit and talk about what he was feeling and his less than gentleman-like conduct.  My colleague spent quite a while with him on the phone trying to speak to him about the situation but he was very dismissive towards her.

The moral of this story is that at the end of the day we are Mistresses not mind readers. There is a time, place , and a respectful way to approach any Mistress if you feel that you are not connecting with a situation.  Some people are very hard to read and we do appreciate input in a constructive manner.  But please also be aware that if you do not feel that you are getting what you want out of a situation the fault does not fall entirely on our shoulders.  You will get back as much as you give and if you enter a situation expecting more than what was promised to you or if you have unrealistic expectations you will be disappointed to no one’s fault but your own.  Communication and respect are key and for any situation to work you must return the favor.

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Judge, Jury, and Executioner

There are a lot of difficult things about being a Mistress.  Punishment just happens to be on the top of my personal list.  I honestly really hate having to do it.  First off, the fact that I have to punish you in the first place means you did not follow orders or you displeased me in some way.  That is never a good thing. I do not consider myself hard to serve. In fact I am very self sufficient and and ask for very little.  That is why it is so important to me for my subs to follow and order I give them because they are so few and far between.

I will admit that when it comes to the lifestyle aspect of my life that I am very big on protocol but I aways keep it simple and give clear instructions of what I want.  Most of what I do ask as far as protocol goes is simple gestures that demonstrate your respect for me as a Mistress.  I am also very fair.  If a submissive has not been taught the proper way in which to serve me they will be informed and given a correction and if they do not take note then a punishment is in order.

A lot of though goes into my punishments.  They are not always a physical act.  Sometimes you wil be denied of something that you cherish like my time and attention or sometimes they will be a written assignment.  Especially when I’m dealing with a masochist I would never use corporal to punish them because I never punish by rewarding. I am also a big advocate of punishing on the spot.  I want the infraction to be fresh in your mind while you receiving your punishment.  I feels this is more effective and really drives the point home.

Although I am a sadist and enjoy inflicting both physical and to a certain extent emotional discomfort, I actually derive no please from administering a punishment.  I really feel that is an unfortunate but ultimately necessary situation.

There is only one exception.  I do enjoy punishment when someone comes to confess to me.  They have done something wrong but have not wronged me personally.  This type of scenario really excites me.  Maybe it was a situation where they have wronged a significant other, or messed up at work, or did something that they know they shouldn’t be doing and they come to me to pay the price.

They tell me their story and I get to decide what they deserve.  They receive their punishment and at the end I feel that some justice has been served.

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Thanks from My subs!

Thank you My dears for all your kind words and for welcoming Me back to NY! I would also like to thank all My admirers for their lovely emails and feedback since I have launched My site.  I’m glad you are enjoying it!


I was tied down unable to move, looking up into the mirror above your bondage table.  I looked up in the mirror and saw your long legs, great ass, impossibly small waist, and long hair stretched out over me with the glint of the Wartenberg wheel and knew that there was an evil grin on your face as you started to torment my body.  Running the wartenberg wheel over my most sensitive parts, pinching and biting my nipples, biting my ear lobes.  Soon you whispered in my ear:”Enough of enjoying anything ” and put a blindfold over my eyes and clover clips on my nipples.  A few pulls on the clamps started me moaning.  The soothing tickle of your hair dragging over my body was soon replaced with the pain of clothes pins on my sensitive areas, and the picks of the wartenberg wheel.  A few more pulls and twists of the clover clamps had me going into deep sub space.  My bliss was not to be.  You soon had me hooked up to your Tens unit and twitching from the shocks to my body.  I couldn’t see what you were doing, but the shocks were interspersed with soothing touches of your hair, flicks of the clothes pins and pulls on the clover clamps.  I was constantly moaning, moaning ah, moaning aaahhh, moaning aaaaahhhhh, Mona, MONA!!! The endorphin rush had me floating for days after the experience.  I WILL be back soon. THANK YOU!!!

-Not Dubya

Thank you again for taking my interests into account and creating a mutually enjoyable session.  I really enjoy serving you. Having a totally gorgeous woman dressed in fetish attire, blow smoke in my face, whip my balls, and laugh while doing it…what more could a guy want?

-Heavy Metal

Dear Mistress Mona,
i want to thank You for some of the most intense sessions i have had with any Mistress. As You well know i have been playing in the scene for many years and have served Mistresses not only in New York but all over the world. You are, physically, one of the most beautiful Mistress’ that i have ever had the privilege to worship. Your strict demeanor and behavior, which i have always desired from my Mistress, is more than i could ever ask for. Your outfits are absolutely fantastic and leave nothing more to be desired. Whether being on my knees in front of You, lying on my back below You, or being tightly bound and being tortured in such creative ways makes me want to be owned by You and be Your slave every day for the rest of my life. Every training session we have had has taken me to new heights of submission and subjugation. You have tested and taken me beyond my limits which has been pure ecstasy. i only wish that i could be at Your feet 24/7. Thank You again for showing me what it’s like to serve a real, beautiful, demanding, and relentless Woman of Your power.
Your slave forever,
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