Author Archive

Our America

Tomorrow night, my dear friend and colleague, Ms. Nina Payne and our company Domi Dollz will be featured in the season premier of “Our America” on the OWN network.  This episode is all about kink and alternative lifestyles. Normally we are very wary about getting involved with media when it comes to the community since everyone always puts such a negative spin on it but I have to say that I actually respect this show in general for not sensationalizing it’s coverage of topics and the host, Lisa Ling, as a journalist.

We spent a lot of time with the producers before filming had begin.  Since BDSM is such a large complicated topic, they had a lot of questions for us and as you may know we are all about sharing and educating in a positive manner. The producers were really great and put as much work in as possible in order to better understand what BDSM is really all about. They even attended one of our Domi Dollz workshops and hung out with us afterwards.

Here is the preview of the episode.  I have to say that from what I can see it was shot beautifully and I’m excited to see the final product in full.  I’m also happy to announce that Kinky Amour, the first book written by the Domi Dollz, is almost done.  It’s been a lot of hard work and a great challenge but totally worth it!  I’ll be sure to check back with everyone when is is officially released.


Sneak Peek: Watch the First 5 Minutes of the New Season of Our America

Lisa Ling goes beyond the best-selling fantasy novel, Fifty Shades of Grey, to explore the real world of BDSM: bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sado-masochism. What she finds is a kinky truth far more complicated than fiction.

Watch the first 5 minutes of the season premiere before its television debut, then, tune in for the premiere of Our America with Lisa Ling on Tuesday, January 22nd at 10/9c, only on OWN.

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Help Support My Passion

So I know I’ve been a bad Mistress and haven’t updated my blog in forever which happens from time to time as you may notice.  Part of the reason that I have neglected it is because I’ve been doing a lot of writing else where. As some of you who follow me may know, I work with a company called Domi Dollz. Domi Dollz is a collective of sex positive and kink friendly individuals who’s goal is to empower, entertain, and educate the public about kink.  We happen to be writing our first book so that is where most of my spare time has been going.

Working with Domi Dollz is very important to me for so many different reasons.   The main reason is that I am very passionate about spreading a positive message about kink. There are so many misconceptions and negative media attention in regard to our community simply because of a lack of understanding. Yes, it can be an intimidating topic to approach for someone who is just starting out. However I firmly believe that the right first introduction makes all the difference and this is why Domi Dollz does what we do.

When I first started really exploring BDSM I didn’t know anyone who was lifestyle or really where to turn.  I found my way into the pro scene not with the intention of being a pro Domme but really just to learn and experience.  It was something that I needed in my life.  BDSM has given me an outlet, an understanding, and an acceptance of my true self that I do not think I could have gotten anywhere else and to be able to share even just a small piece of that possibility with someone else is an amazing feeling.  The feedback that I get from people who attend our events is always so heartwarming and serves as a constant reminder of why I have chosen this path for myself.

I’m sharing all of this with you because we are coming close to finishing the book and need to raise money to help get it out to the public.  If you are able to make a donation or help spread the word that would really mean the world to me and hopefully help me have more free time so I can write more of random blogs for you guys to read! Click on the link below to find out more details.

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Mortality Is A Myth

A couple of months ago I modeled for a sculpture my friend, Ted Lawson, wanted to make for his first solo art show.  He wanted to cast my full body which was a very long process and took almost two full days of work.  I was covered in Vaseline, coated in layers of silicone, then the silicone was covered in plaster bandages to harden it and then the molds were removed.

On the first day we did my entire back, then the front of my torso and finally my face. The second day was my limbs.  It was intense!  The silicone actually felt really good on my skin and the heat from the plaster curing was also nice but holy shit did it hurt when the molds were removed from my body.  Imagine having one huge bandage that covers your entire back and then having it ripped off in one piece.  Having my face molded was the most interesting part. We actually had to do it twice since I freaked out on the first try.  I was not sure how I would react since I had never experienced that type of sensation before.  I was sitting in the chair with my head  propped against the wall  when he began to paint the layers of silicone onto my face.  I had my eyes closed and my mouth parted slightly. I also needed to be mindful of the expression on my face since he was going for a particular feel for the sculpture.  As the silicone began to drip down my face and my airways became covered I had to blow out through my nose to keep them clear.  In between my labored breathing there were a few seconds that I was not able to breath and this went on for about 3 minutes before the straws were placed in my nose.  Needless to say I was not prepared for that and it was hard for me to regulate my breathing and I began to feel like I was suffocating.  My mouth was also watering because it was slightly parted and it was difficult to swallow so my mouth kept wanting to spring open and gasp for air.  Before he was able to paint the finally layers of silicone on I had to tap out and he removed it.  After I took a few minutes to calm down and process the situation I realized that the straws needed to be put in my nose from the beginning so I could regulate my breathing properly and that my mouth should be closed so I could swallow and not worry about it affecting the integrity of the mold.  Needless to say that did the trick and the second try was a breeze.  It was actually very meditative.

I had spoken to a friend of mine later that night and she laughed at the story and told me I’m always doing crazy shit.  I took a minute to really think about what she had said and you know what she was right but how could I pass up something as interesting as this.  I knew it was going to be a crazy sensory experience.  It was depriving, immobilizing, painful, and exhausting but so worth it!  Sometimes we all need intense moments like that to know we are still alive.

Here are pics of the the finished sculpture titled “Mortality Is A Myth”.



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More Black with I AM MANY

Some of you who know me personally or follow me on a regular basis via twitter or my facebook know about my love for hip hop.  My friend I AM MANY, who has been a staple in the NY underground hip hop scene for many years, approached me a couple of months back to do a fetish themed video with him and I jumped at the chance.  Unlike Rihanna’s fluff of a video for the song S&M (which is basically pop crap anyways) he wanted to create something with actual substance.  Even though Many is an emcee he has many different musical interests and had spent time in goth and fetish clubs some years ago and wanted to speak on his experiences.

Working out the details for my part of the shoot and his performance scenes that we shot in The Parthenon was amazing fun.  Having my “vanilla” friends, who have never got to witness a full on scene before, be there while I was playing and actually film it was a dope experience to share.  Also it’s not everyday that I get to run around the dungeon suspending my friends from various equipment or putting hoods on them!

So far the feedback for the video has been really good.  I was sent the first ruff edit of the video and discussed with Many about how it might be perceived since the hip hop crowd can be pretty hard to please.  It was a difficult process of trying to decide what footage was to be used and what may be a little over the top since we didn’t want to turn people off really. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to help him out with these decisions as much as I would have like since I am both a hip hop head and have been into fetish for such a long time that my “shock” levels have been pretty tempered so it was hard for me to understand how some people can be so sensitive.  I really applaud him for this project and for taking hip hop somewhere that it has never really been before especially since the hip hop scene has become so watered down an uninspired.

Hope you enjoy!


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My Thoughts On Collaring

In my personal life I have played with many submissives and have had a few serve me but I had never collared anyone until this year. I have been playing with my slave Porky for over a year now and when our “Domsubversary” (a term he coined) came around I began to reflect on the time he and I had spent that year.

Collaring a slave can mean a number of different things depending on the Dominant. Some Dominants offer protective collars. This can mean that although a person wears their collar they are not necessarily their slave, they are more of a mentor for that person while they are exploring the scene. Other Dominants offer training collars. This symbolizes that the sub is being trained by them and working towards becoming their slave.

I happen to take a very particular approach when considering collaring a slave. It can actually be a very long process. Whether the sub happens to be a client or someone I have met elsewhere our first interactions are always very “play” oriented. It is important to me that we have chemistry together, that they respond to me well, that we share similar interests, and they are able to follow the rules I set for them while playing. I use every opportunity I can during this period to get a good read on them as an individual. You can learn a lot about a person from simply how they act before, during, and after a scene. If all goes well during this stage then I will move them onto the next step, which is “out of the dungeon” so to speak. Here the submissive will learn how to serve me in my personal life, my likes, my dislikes, how to communicate with me, and further public protocol. A huge amount of communication on both parties is key here. Just as much as they are getting to learn about me I need to learn about them. For example: how they view themselves as a submissive, what do they enjoy about serving, if they have served before and what those experiences have been like and so on. This is the point in which I decide what type of role in my life will suit them best and it is important to take into consideration their strengths and their weaknesses. Just because a person likes serving doesn’t mean they will be the best person to clean my house especially if they are not as detail oriented and OCD like I am so I don’t want to give them task in which that they will never be able to meet my standards no matter how genuinely hard they try. Once I feel that the submissive and I have reached at place where most of the aforementioned “work” has been done and our relationship has a good flow then I would be open to offering them a collar as their reward for their devotion.

When I think back on my and Porky’s relationship it’s actually funny to me because even though this process was happening it wasn’t actually something that I was consciously doing or working towards. Part of the reason he and I work so well together is that he is so extremely laid back and not needy at all which for me is something that does not suite my life in any manner. My role as his Mistress and he as my sub was one of the most organic experiences I’ve ever had. As much as he is honored to be for me to be his Mistress I feel the same honor in having him as my slave.

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Q: You tweeted that You tried out a bunch of new implements on porkinator looking for feedback. That must have been a lot of fun for you. Was it? Do you do that kind of thing often?

A: I love to try out new toys! Sometimes I have as much fun with just testing equipment as I do in having an actual scene.  I think it is really important to know all the capabilities of any toys that one plays with.  Part of it is about safety,  I obviously want to be sure if it is something I haven’t played with before that I know how to use it properly to avoid and risk or injury to my bottom. Then the other part of it is that I want to be able to optimize the use of the toy.

Take impact implements for example, which is what I tested out on porky.  They can have incredible range and I like to see how the bottom reacts to them being used light to medium then to heavy.  Certain implements can also be “thrown” different ways and that can effect the sensation that the bottom feels also.

While testing toys I like to choose a bottom who I have played with often so I am already familiar with their responses.  I also prefer that the bottom is really into the type of play that the toys involves because I like to get honest feedback from them.   It helps me connect better with the implement when my bottom is able to communicate what the varying degrees feel like since I do see using toys as a direct extension of my physical self.  The final test I look to see and especially with impact implements is if they leave marks or at what intensity will they mark.  Now understandably everyone’s skin will respond different so I can only make a generalization when it comes time to use them on other individuals but it’s good to be aware of. Also being that everyone plays on different levels I don’t necessarily want to exclude the use of certain toys that maybe considered heavy if someone is on the lighter side,  I would rather see if there is a way that I can utilize it that works  in favor with the bottoms tolerance.

Unfortunately no I do not get to have this experience as often as I would like. I usually don’t get new toys very often.  I actually happen to spend long periods of time exploring the ones I do have and more often than not it is during this time that I discover multiple uses for them.  That excites me because I like to challenge myself and my creativity.  I also really like getting to try out toys that may be new to me when a bottom brings something from their own collection for us to play with.  This is also not just a pleasant surprise but I also tend to learn a great deal from them which is always an added bonus.

I also think that from a bottoms or submissive perspective that it can be a great honor for their top or Dominant to get to break in a new toy on them.  Usually when I receive new toys as a gift I make sure that whoever gifted them to me gets to have them used on them first.  Unfortunately the toys that I tested on porky were given to me by someone else who I had not had the opportunity to use on them yet but I know when I do get to see them that my knowledge of the toys and how they will be used to stimulate them will also be a great reward!

These are the toys I tested on porky.

If you would like to gift me some new toys that I can use on you please visit my wish list.

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Slave Chastity Story Part 2

Being that I’m in the holiday spirt, I decided to be kind and not to make my readers wait anymore. Here is the rest of my slave’s chastity story.  I especially like the ending!


Chapter 3

By my 4th day without orgasm, I was more than a little frustrated, but was surprised to find that my most prevalent emotions were anxiety and what I can only describe as feeling of submission.

The anxiety came from my fear of getting caught.  All of my fetishes had always been a secret that I shared with none of my friends and yet here I was, trying to live my life with a large, solid plastic cage locked on my cock and forcing my balls to jut out from my body.  I had begun wearing exclusively baggy jeans & button down shirts that extended below my waistline.  And everywhere I went, I was hyper conscious of whether there was a noticeable bulge in my pants that anyone might notice.  In reality, I’m sure if anyone was looking at my crotch, it was to figure out why I was looking at it so often, but the risk certainly didn’t feel frivolous to me.

At the same time I found myself experiencing a genuine longing for Mona.  And not a sexual longing, but more of an emotional need to be near her and a craving for her attention.  Over the past few days she had done nothing but tease me and put me in emasculating positions, while holding me in a device that denied me orgasms, and yet I found myself feeling more loyal, devoted and wanting to please her than ever.

As I arrived at our session that day, I assumed this would be the end of our little experiment.  Mona was aware my insurance only covered up to this session, plus she had been very happy with my last few assignments, so it made sense that now would be a good time to wrap things up.  Even if a part of me kinda wished it would continue…

I sat naked and bound to a chair, explaining my feelings to Mistress Moan and reading her & 2 of her female co-workers my Victoria’s Secret vignettes.

Before long she had me strapped down on my back to a bondage table as she gently penetrated my ass with her strap-on.

“I’ve really been enjoying keeping you in chastity,” Mona confessed as she rocked the strap-on deeper into me.

“I’m glad that you have Mistress,” I moaned.  “As you taught me, this experience should be more about your pleasure than my selfish desires…”

“I’m very happy to hear you think so,” she grinned.

30 minutes of chastity-bound penetration later, Mona pulled out her cock, undid my bonds and told me matter-of-factly to get dressed and prepared to receive my next assignment as she walked out of the room to clean up.

My mind did a double take.

There was no mention of my release from chastity or even of the logistics of continuing to session beyond the limits of my insurance.  Just a simple declaration that things would be continuing as they have been, as though it were nothing special.

Suddenly I was overwhelmed with all of the anxiety & confusion that I had read about in chastity fiction on the internet.  How would this work? How long would we continue? When would I see her again?

Mistress Mona provided no answers when she returned, just simple instructions to go home and await my next assignment before she showed me to the door.  The confusion on my face must have been obvious as she guided me out of her office.

I stood waiting for the elevator, trying to make sense of what just happened, when the door to her office opened one more time to reveal Mona holding out my keys.

“You forgot something,” she said, extending the keys to me.  “Do you want them?”

“No, I don’t.”  The words came out of my mouth before I even realized I had said them.  Mona smiled and closed the door to her office once again.

“What did I just do?!” I asked myself as I walked out through the lobby.  It felt so right but it didn’t make any practical sense.  I spent most of that evening awkwardly maneuvering through social situations while praying that no one accidentally brushed up against my front.


Chapter 4

I awoke the next morning to find a lengthy voicemail of Mona masturbating herself to orgasm.  My cock immediately strained to get hard in its cage.  She clearly seemed to be genuinely enjoying the dilemma she had placed me in.

The hours dragged on that Saturday afternoon as I waited for some contact from my chastity Mistress, some sense of what my next instruction would be.  I had stayed home all day, anxious to go out and risk my chastity somehow being discovered.

Finally, at 6pm that evening, an email from her appeared in my inbox:

I’m really happy with how our session ended yesterday.  I think you are making a lot of progress in understanding your own kinks and inner desires.  I love keeping you in chastity and am excited to continue.  I give you permission to request appointments to see me and to suggest if and when you would like to negotiate for your release.   In the meantime, please keep me apprised of your feelings & thoughts.  Your guide and therapist – Mistress Mona

“What does that mean?” I thought as I re-read her email.  Request appointments? Plural?! If and when I would like to negotiate for my release?  How long does she intend to keep this going on for?!  I thought when we started that this “fantasy exploration experience” would be for just a few days, tops!  Now it was starting to sound like I might never get out.

I had suddenly gone from participating in a realistic simulation of one of my greatest fantasies to actually being the main character in one of the chastity stories I had read on the web.  Problem was, while in those stories it was always hot when the female keyholder decided to keep the poor guy locked in chastity for much longer than he wanted, in real life it felt both scary and impractical.

How long could I go through life with a hard plastic cage on my cock?  Eventually someone was bound to notice. And how long could I afford to pay Mona to meet with her? The cage had been making it hard to sleep, as it would often wake me up as a nocturnal hard-on caused it to yank at my balls.  And it required me to lubricate it several times per day to prevent chafing.  Plus I hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything but Mona and the cage all day!  How would I ever get anything done if I lived like this for any length of time?  Of course, at the same time I felt excited and comforted by the fact that Mona was in control of my situation and that made me want to be all the more close to her.  Ahh!!!  This situation was driving me insane!

I quickly drafted a reply to Mona’s email as my mind swirled with thoughts of losing my job because I could no longer focus on my work – or worse yet, the humiliation of having one of my female subordinates notice the bulge in my tighter fitting work pants:

“Mistress, thank you for your willingness to continue this experience with me and I am very glad that it makes you so happy.  Over the past day and a half I have been feeling increasingly anxious & distracted as I consider my situation.  Would it be possible for us to meet tomorrow afternoon?  I have a strong desire to confess my feelings of desperation to you and be physically humiliated by your strap-on.”

I hadn’t planned the last request until I wrote it, but it did articulate what I was feeling.  Much to my surprise, more than an orgasm, what I really desired was to feel a physical manifestation of her intimate control over me.

“I can see you,” she at long last replied, “but I’m busy most of that day, so it will have to be late.”

“Yes! No problem Mistress! That would be great!” I was too happy not to have to spend another day without her to care about the time.

Sunday afternoon she texted me that she’d be later than she had thought and I would have to be patient.  I spent the entire afternoon alone in my apartment attempting to distract myself from thinking about my predicament.  Working out, watching videos on YouTube or anything else mindless seemed to work a little.  The impossible thing seemed to be focusing my mind on anything productive.

By the time we finally got to meet it was late enough that we were the only ones in Mona’s therapy office.

I sat before her, hands cuffed tightly behind my back, wearing nothing but my chastity device and confessed all of my feelings to the woman who, in just a few short days, had become the center of my world.

She listened carefully to my plight of anxiety & need for release from the device for practical reasons and then asked a carefully considered question:

“Do you think, as with anything new, that there is a bit of an adjustment curve here?  That, like the stages of grief, while your first reaction might be anger or denial, with enough time you might come to reach acceptance and adjustment to your situation?”

I understood where she was headed, but I didn’t want to let her mind go there.

“I think that makes sense Mistress, but I’m not sure it’s worth getting there if it means disrupting my life to do it.”

“Interesting…” she mused.  “Let’s discuss more while we give you that stimulation you were craving…”

Before long, I was bent over a bench, hands still cuffed behind my back, while Mistress Mona stood behind me, thrusting her strap-on into my rear.  She had for the first time since my experience began, freed my cock from its cage (not that the handcuffs would allow me anywhere near it), only to attach stimulating electrodes to it while she fucked me.

“Do you realize how lucky you are to have found someone you could explore your greatest fantasy with?” She dialed up the intensity of the electrodes as she asked the question.

“Absolutely Mistress!  I am incredibly lucky & grateful to have been able to share this experience with you.”

“Then are you sure you want it to end so soon?”

Her question was sweetly worded but torturously maddening.  My mind knew it needed to end so I could get back to my life, but at the same time, it has been my greatest fantasy for a reason, and as a result of it I felt close to Mona in a way I had never felt with anyone before.

“I’ll give you two options,” Mona said, pulling me back from my own thoughts. “Either you can, A – spend another day in chastity & take on your fear of going work locked up before earning release or B – I’ll give you an orgasm now but then you have to spend another full week locked up.”

I thought long and hard before answering.

“I’m sorry Mistress, I know choosing B would make you most happy, but…I just can’t do it. I have to go with A.”

“Interesting.  You can’t do it, or you don’t want to do it?” Mona challenged. “I think you’re underestimating your own abilities Jay, and that it’s more of a question of what you want in your life.”

Her point, as with most everything she had observed of me in the past few days, was frighteningly accurate.  I’m sure I could last longer in chastity if I really tried, and part of me really did want to be Mona’s chastity slave for life.  I just wasn’t sure how to reconcile it with the rest of the life I had worked so hard to build for myself.

“Either way though, I am happy with you.  Your assignment for tomorrow will be to text me 3 times throughout your work day with updates on how you are feeling.”

The chastity device went back on before my handcuffs were released and I left feeling deeply cared for, educated and amazed that I although I had just been fucked in the ass, had my shortcomings analyzed and been denied orgasm yet again, I could leave feeling so good.


Chapter 5

To my amazement, I had no issues sleeping that night and found it easy to focus when I got to work.  No one seemed to even slightly notice the minor bulge in my pants and I almost forgot about it at times while I was working.

Even more surprising was when I found myself texting Mistress Mona at lunch that I was doing fine and could probably hold out another day or two if it pleased her.  My genuine desire to make her happy had become so strong that I was eager to offer up 2 days instead of just 1 more.  She eagerly accepted my offer to extend.

Although it appeared that Mona’s theory of acceptance & adjustment to one’s circumstances was accurate, my balls still felt abnormally full over the next two days as the chastity device’s cock ring continued its uninterrupted weeklong mission to pull them away from my body.  For the past 7 days my life routine had been altered to include things like regularly lubricating my balls, always remembering to bring q-tips into the bathroom to clean the device after I pee and giving myself an enema before every session in case Mistress Mona felt like penetrating my ass.  I had adjusted myself in humiliating ways for this woman and yet now it all felt strangely normal.

Her final assignment was for me to document my entire experience and all of my feelings along the way.  If she liked what I wrote, she emailed, she would give me back my keys.  I arrived at our final session proud of what I had written and eager to share it with her.

Soon I was once again in a straight jacket, bound to a bondage bed as Mona lay next to me, paging through my write up.  I was in heaven, feeling closer to her than ever before.

“This is very good work,” she at last announced with a smile.  “I’m very proud of how much you have learned about yourself.”

I was beaming.

For the next hour she teased me relentlessly, having fun with how easy my cock was to manipulate after having been imprisoned and denied for a full week, before finally allowing me the orgasm I had for so long desired.

“Oh goooodddd!  Thank you Mistress!!!” I moaned in ecstasy as the cum erupted from my body.

However before I had even recovered, Mona had stepped out of the room.  I waited for her to return, eager to share my gratitude for all she had shared with me.

“Mistress, I can not thank y…” I started to speak as she reentered only to be cut off as she strapped a ball gag into my mouth.

“Listen Jay,” Mona said calmly as she sat next to my still bound body.  “I’m really proud of how much you’ve learned about yourself from this experience, but as your therapist, its clear to me what you really want for yourself, even if you haven’t fully come to accept it yet, and it would be irresponsible of me not to help you achieve those wants when there is something that I can do about it.”

“Don’t worry,” she added, noticing the concern in my eyes, “I’m still giving you back your keys as promised.” She placed the lock to my chastity device along with its keys on the table next to me.  “It’s just that I’m also giving you something else…a new lock…”

And with that she resecured the device on to me with her new lock.

“I think we’re going to have a very productive next few months…”




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My Chastity Slave’s Story

As you may know from a previous post, I had a new slave in chastity. This was a long time fantasy of his and we had originally negotiated a 3 day scene. At the end of the 3 days I knew he hadn’t really gotten even close to a full taste of his predicament and decided not to release him.  We truly had amazing chemistry together and he responded to me very well.  I informed him that it was in his own best interests to continue with the scene and after explaining the details behind my thought process, he too agreed.

So 3 days became a full week.  I told him the he would have to do something for me in exchange for his freedom and if it pleased me then I would release him.  I decided  that since I enjoyed his writing so much that he had to write me a story about his experience over the past week.  This assignment was not only for my amusement but also a time for him to reflect and process the scene.  I did allow him some “creative freedom”  while writing but I wanted him to keep as much real detail in a s possible.  Needless to say he did and amazing job and it’s 90% true to life.  It’s quite long so I will be posting it in a couple parts.


Mistress Mona’s Chastity Therapy


Chapter 1

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Of course it is Jay,” Dr. Mona said as she finished securing my legs to the chair.  “You’ve been fantasizing about being locked in chastity by a dominant woman for how long now?”

“Years.  Maybe even a decade.”

“Exactly my point.  Don’t you think it’s about time you explored one of your greatest fantasies?  You might be surprised by what you could learn about yourself.”  My latex clad therapist finished her last knot.  After having only met with her for 2 sessions, I had somehow allowed her to convince me that playing out one of my most intimate sexual fantasies would be the most productive way to better understand myself.  Now I sat, naked from the waist down, bound in a straight jacket and tied tightly to a leather bondage chair, with a chastity device that I had originally purchased solely as a masturbatory play-toy locked securely onto my cock.

In front of my vulnerably spread legs stood my new therapist.  Dressed in leather boots & latex, as though she had stepped right out of one of my sexual fantasies, she playfully dangled the keys to my chastity device, knowing full well that this was the first time they had ever been out of my possession.  Something about her had just made it feel so right to agree…

“Dr. Mona, I’m having second thoug…”

“That’s MISTRESS Mona!” She snapped, cutting me off.  “Rule #1, you will always address me as Mistress.”

“Yes, Mistress.”

“Much better,” she smiled.  “Now here is how this is going to work: you will be kept in that chastity device for an indeterminate amount of time.  How long of a time will depend on how well you follow my instructions, obey my rules and remain open to learning about yourself.  I will periodically call you in to meet at times that are convenient for me and there will be regular homework assignments between our sessions to give you a chance to fully embrace your chastity experience.”

She waited a beat to allow the reality of the situation to sink in.

“Now how does that sound Jay?”

“Um, great I guess,” I said nervously.

“Great I guess, what?“

“Um, great I guess Mistress,” I added.

“That’s a little better…at this rate, you may be in that device for a very long time.”  The way she smiled as she ended that sentence made me a little uncomfortable, but more than a little excited.  I couldn’t believe I was actually doing this.  Handing over the keys to my cock, my ability to have sex & masturbate, to a woman I barely knew, but who knew how to push every one of my sexual buttons.

“Now that we have the ground rules out of the way,” my seductress announced as she untied me from the chair, “I want you to kneel down and worship my boots while you creatively thank me for locking you in chastity.”

Any reluctance on my part had flown right out the window. Her commanding tone, her leveraging of my boot fetish and the humiliating task of thanking her for taking away my ability to orgasm was too much for me.  I immediately dropped to my knees and began kissing her boots as best I could in the straight jacket.

“Thank you Mistress!  Thank you for helping me to explore my fantasies!  And for showing me what it feels like to actually be locked in chastity.  And for creating assignments to help me fully embrace the experience.  And…”

“Stop Jay,” Mona interrupted.  “Everything I’m hearing you say is about you.  Your fantasies.  Your wants.  This fantasy of yours is my time to have fun.  You get to say locked in chastity and I get to have you do whatever I want.  So try it again, but this time be less selfish.”

She was surprisingly right – although my chastity fantasy put me in the control of another person, as a fantasy it was always self serving – my imaginary key holders always “made” me do things that I really wanted to do anyway. But that’s not how a relationship with a real person works at all; BDSM or not, its about giving more than receiving.

I resumed my boot kissing.

“Thank you for the lesson Mistress.  You are absolutely right.  This is about your pleasure, not mine. I will do whatever you desire for me to do.  I will engage in whatever acts you find entertaining and I will do whatever it takes to please you and any other Mistresses you desire.”

“Much better!” My unconventional therapist stood up from her chair.  “I think that’s some good progress for our first session! I will text you tonight with instructions for your first assignment.  Stay close to your phone!”

“Yes Mistress.”

“Now you have one minute from when I release you from this straight jacket to put on your clothes and be out this door or I’m adding a day to your chastity sentence.”

I was gone 59 seconds later.


Chapter 2


My first “assignment” arrived at 10:12 that night, just as I was leaving the bar with some friends.

“Send me a picture of your cock in chastity within the next half hour.”  Her control over me was evident as I rushed home and found myself, 20 minutes later, standing with my pants around my ankles trying to get enough light on my chastity encased cock to get a good shot of it with my iphone.

“I can’t believe I’m really doing this,” I thought to myself.  Yes, it is my sexual fantasy, but here I am, in real life, rushing home from hanging out with my friends to send an incriminating photograph to a woman who only entered my life a week ago.  And yet, the fact that she was as excited as I was when I had first mentioned my chastity fantasy made me somehow feel more comfortable sending this photo to her than even mentioning the idea of my fetish to any of my friends.

Later that night I was assigned to write a summary of the lessons I learned from our first chastity session together. Mona was pleased that I remembered both the details of her behavioral protocol as well as that I had internalized the idea that my own fantasies were selfish wants and that my primary focus should be on pleasing her.

The next few days contained a wide variety of humiliating assignments & in person sessions, all managing to both play into my fetishes while entertaining my cock’s new owner.  I found myself bending over to learn what prostate stimulation feels like and questioning my sanity as I left my friends at the bar again to go enter a strip club alone at 1am and solicit a lap dance while in chastity.  I was forced to watch & report on an hour’s worth of porn before one session, only to leave with a butt plug still inserted into my ass.

Perhaps the most difficult assignment was to flip through one of my Victoria’s Secret catalogues (Mistress Mona stated it matter-of-factly, as though she knew I had 3 catalogues stashed at the bottom of one of my dresser drawers) and write out what I fantasized as I looked at 3 of the pictures.  I have always prided myself on my creativity and vivid imagination, but allowing my mind to wander while still locked in chastity proved to be nothing short of pure torture.  Mistress Mona was delighted by my end product, but I had barely slept that night as my cock struggled to get hard in its cage.


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My Thoughts on Cross-Dressing

Lately I’ve been getting a lot of session requests for cross-dressing so I think it appropriate to share my thoughts on the subject. In the beginning of my professional career I did my fair share of cross-dressing session.  Everything ranging from just putting subs in lingerie to full transformation. During this time I met a lot of subs who identified with this type of scene in different ways.  Some thought it was humiliating, some liked it because they wanted to be treated like sluts, some because they had certain fetishes for women’s clothing, and some who truly wanted to explore their feminine side. I also considered this an exploratory period for myself too.  I hadn’t really had too much exposure to this aspect of BDSM prior in my personal life and I am definitely the type of person who will try almost anything once, or twice, or ten times.

Now that time has passed and I have gained a great deal of experience in this area, I seem to be getting more particular in my tastes for cross-dressing. I have narrowed my interestes down to two areas: fetishists and full transformation.  These two aspect interest me the most for a couple of reasons.

As you may already know I am also a fetishist for certain pieces of the female wardrobe, corsets and stockings for example, so I can relate to a sub wanting to experience the feel of silky panties or luxurious hosiery.  I am also very thrilled when they come to me in session already wearing them under their clothes and even more so when they put them back on when they leave. I also take note of how when in session they often touch these garments or try to catch glimpses of the themselves in the mirrors.  There is nothing more exciting to me then watching a fetishist in their element.

Now when it comes to full transformation, there are so many aspect to really get involved with.  I also see it as a type of challenge and the main goal is to turn a man into a being that acts and resembles a woman as closely as humanly possible.  I begin by assessing their body type and deciding what types of lines in the clothing will be necessary to attain a feminine figure. Proper undergarments and the possible addition of prosthetics is also key.  Next I would move onto hair and make up.  It is important to choose a wig that is flattering both in hair color and in cut, after all not everyone can pull off  long blonde hair. The makeup application is obviously the most time consuming and the part that I may very well enjoy the most.  By adding contours and highlights the shape of the face begins to change and there is no end to miracle of false eyelashes.  After everything is complete I take a step back and marvel over my creation which always gives me great satisfaction.  Finally I would have to say that the most interesting part of this experience for me is watching the subs body language and mannerisms change with help from the make over and etiquette training they have received from me.

When it comes to cross-dressing as a form or humiliation or for a sub to be treated like a slut I respect it but do not personally enjoy it. I have actually come to find it personally offensive.  I myself, of course being a female, see no need to put someone in fabulous fabrics just to make fun of them or to put a wig on them so they can act like a whore.  If you want to be treated like a whore or humiliated trust me I am more than capable of doing so while you are in male mode. Therefore I no longer offer those types of cross-dressing sessions.



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